Eco Fabulous Family

I know, I know.  I have not done a blog post in forever but I have been motivated by a new product I am carrying in my store.

Meal times were rough. Froggie threw his plate or bowl almost every meal.  Many meals I would sit next to him with my hand on his plate while eating my own dinner with my other hand.

This October Froggie, Bug, Peanut and I went to The ABC Kids Expo in Las Vegas.  This is a show mostly for retailers of children’s products.  I attend every year to see what is new and place orders for the store.

The last day we were there we passed by EzPz’s booth. EzPz makes The Happy Mat.

I told the boys I thought it looked like Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas. Does anyone else see it?

Working at their booth was a very sweet Speech Language Pathologist named Dawn Winkelmann. Dawn works on both feeding and speech in her practice. How cool is it that EzPz has an SLP on staff?  She spent some time discussing the product with me and how great it is for all toddlers but especially toddlers with special needs.

Dawn gave me a mat to try at home with Froggie.

We LOVE it! It is 100% silicone, dishwasher safe and STAYS ON THE TABLE.  Seriously this is almost life changing for us.

There are still messes but they are more contained.  When he drips it more often than not lands on the place mat.

You can check out them on my site here: http://www.littlefornow.com/the-happy-mat-by-ezpz.html

New prenatal tests are giving more and more families a prenatal diagnosis of Down syndrome. Some parents are happy to have the extra time to prepare for everything an extra chromosome means.  For other parents the diagnosis will result in termination of the pregnancy.  I have heard many officials state they don’t believe the abortion rate will go up as a result of these tests.  I say bull.  I am certain more mothers will choose to abort.

To me this is not an abortion issue on the broader scale. It is an issue of aborting children solely on the basis of a Down syndrome diagnosis. I don’t usually share these types of feeling because friends and family may not understand or have experience with how important this issue is. Many of you reading this did have that prenatal testing with the idea of aborting your baby if he or she was not perfect. I am sure some of you did abort a baby with a Ds diagnosis. This is not to shame you. The more we know the better we do.

Below is a segment from 60 Minutes in New Zealand. A father in the video puts it beautiful when he says “I want my daughter to live in a society that values her life.” He hit the nail on the head. When people abort only because of this diagnosis they are saying that people with Down syndrome are less than other people. I will not accept that. Froggie is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. He has so much to offer this world. There IS a place in this world for him and others like him. He has the same value as any other child.

I have never publicly stated my views on abortion because it just divides and causes arguments. I will say I am completely against people aborting simply because of a Ds diagnosis.  Unless there is another condition that is not compatible with life people should not be able to abort babies they perceive as less than perfect (cause Froggie is perfect). To me this is the same as aborting a baby because the baby will have green eyes instead of blue or brown hair instead of red. We don’t get to choose who are children are.  We do get the honor of nurturing them, guiding them, loving them and raising adults we can be proud of.

Froggie being worn on my back on Christmas Eve!

If someone has a diagnosis of Down syndrome there is support.  This website has lots of information: http://downsyndromepregnancy.org/

If you are the current parent of a child or adult with Ds in California check out CAPODs: https://www.facebook.com/groups/CAPODS/

If you choose not to keep your child Reece’s Rainbow is an organization dedicated to placing children with Ds.  There are so many families waiting for child with Ds!  http://reecesrainbow.org/

Having a child with Ds is not what I planned. I had so many incorrect assumptions about what a person with Ds was capable of and what they were like.  I am so blessed to be a part of this community.  When I was pregnant someone said to me: “Welcome to the best community you never knew you wanted to be a part of” and I find myself saying those same words when I speak with new families.  It is so true!

Part 1 is HERE and Part 2 is HERE

Part 3

So now I got this! After Peanut I was feeling like a breastfeeding pro.  Breastfeeding is a very important part of my mothering identity.  This is how I fix my babies bumps and bruises, this is how I put my babies to sleep. I felt confident so confident when I was pregnant with baby 3 I barely gave it a thought outside of my excitement at getting to nurse again.

Then, we got Froggie’s diagnosis.  At 4 1/2 months pregnant we found out Froggie would have Down syndrome (Ds). You can read his diagnosis story HERE.  While researching what this meant to our family I discovered that babies with Ds can’t nurse. Well, that was what it seemed like from everything I was reading.  Once we knew he would be healthy this idea, that I would not be nursing, overwhelmed me.  How would I parent this child?

Luckily I kept reading!  I learned that many babies with Ds can’t nurse because of low tone in their mouths and for other health related reasons.  More importantly I learned that some babies with Ds DO nurse! So I went to work learning everything I could about nursing a baby with Ds. I came across a specific hold called “Dancer Hold”. This hold can help a baby latch who has low tone.  I printed out a pdf about this hold and packed it for the hospital.  You can see it HERE. I also called and spoke with the lactation consultant on staff at the hospital and spoke several times with a lactation consultant in private practice.  I spoke with LLL leaders and friends.  I was so scared he would not nurse.

When Froggie was born and we were wheeled into recovery after my C-section I immediately tried to latch him.  He LATCHED! I was so incredibly overjoyed.  I knew his latch was not great and we were going to have to work at it but he did latch.

Over the next 24 hours several nurses asked me if I was ready for a pump and bottles for the baby. I ended up getting very frustrated with them and sent my husband to tell them to leave me alone.  We would be nursing. The lactation consultant came in and I asked her if she was familiar with the Dancer Hold. She said she was not so I gave her the pdf and asked her to learn about it and come back. To her credit, she did! I was a bit pushy about anything having to do with nursing. Well, I was a bit pushy with anything having to do with Froggie.

It took us about 24 hours for him to get it and start nursing well.  About 26 hours after birth he started pooping and peeing like he was supposed to.  Every medical person that came into my room seemed so surprised he was nursing.

My 2nd night a more experienced nurse was on duty and she came into my room about 3:00 am.  I was up nursing.  She commented how well we seemed to be doing.  She was a bit older than the other nurses and I told her my experience with the nurses. I told her how surprised I was that they kept pushing bottles.  She told me that the problem was that they “knew babies with Ds don’t nurse”.

Many babies with Ds do nurse! It is a bit harder and takes a bit of work. It is also true that many babies with Ds simply can not nurse because of different medical conditions they are born with. We are lucky.

Today at 19 months old we are still going strong.  Since I believe in child led weaning he will probably nurse for quite awhile, and I am fine with that!

Here is a fun giveaway! Little For Now has generously donated a Boba 3G baby carrier in Pinstripe for us to giveaway for Father’s Day.

I have a Boba that I use sometimes with Froggie and I love it!  Here is some information about this carrier:

Boba Baby Carrier 3G

This is my personal favorite carrier!  I started using it after the newborn stage with my son and I love how comfortable it is to use.  This carrier makes baby wearing easy!

The Boba Carrier 3G is great for both babies and toddlers between 15-45 pounds. This makes the Boba a much better deal than the kinds of carriers you’ll see at big box stores.

It comes in several fun patterns and beautiful solid colors. You can wear your baby on either your front or back.

Why a Boba Baby Carrier 3G?

• 100% Cotton
• Front and back carry options
• Removable sleeping hood
• Adjustable sleeping hood, adjusting in length to fit growing babies
• Zipper pouch may be used to store your hood when not in use
• Comfortably fits heights 5’0” – 6’3”
• Waistband range: 25” – 58”
• Additional adjustments for easier fit & breastfeeding
• Patent-pending removable foot straps
• Elastic bands neatly roll up straps
• Shoulder strap holders keep purses and diaper bags in place
• Easily adjustable chest strap
• Uniquely designed to “hug” your child
• Converts to an infant carrier without an insert
• Extra head support adjustments for infants
• Body of carrier rises 2-3” higher than other brands
• Multiple pockets for on-the-go storage
• High quality military grade buckles

Good luck and Happy Father’s Day!

Boba 3G in Pinstripe

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If you had told me a couple years ago I would care so much about this I would have laughed.  Funny how having a kids with special needs can change you. My children are amazing wonderful people and I want them to be recognized for the amazing people they are.

When Froggie was 5 weeks old he was admitted to the hospital for RSV.  It was scary. During our week stay I heard him referred to several times as “the Down’s baby or the Down’s patient”. When I heard this my blood boiled.  It really bothered me.  But I did not say anything.  He was an inpatient and I needed the nurses and doctors to be easy to get along with since we were stuck there.  But every time I heard it I got upset. When he was discharged I did have a conversation with the hospital on the phone and they agreed to do some training with their staff on person first language.  For more on person first language please check out this link: http://www.thearc.org/page.aspx?pid=2523

It does matter.  I want Froggie to be and feel valued.  I don’t want him or any of my kids dehumanized in any way.  I decided that I would not be quiet if someone referred to him (or anyone) this way in the future.

Well, today was that future!  Froggie had a procedure done today to check if he has something called Hirschsprung disease.  Fortunately he does NOT!  We were at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles and the doctor came in room and asked the nurse “is he a Down’s baby”. You will be proud to know I immediately addressed it. I told her she should not call him a Down’s baby. His name is Froggie and he happens to have Down syndrome and not using people first language is a great way to offend people.  To my surprise she said I was right and apologized.

It does matter. Words can hurt. Not only can they hurt the person that is being discussed but when we put the disability first we are keeping old prejudices alive. This is not about being politically correct. This is about being respectful of people and showing that ALL people have value.  When you use person first language it can change the way people view a person and even the way that person may view themselves.

On this day 1 year ago I finally got to meet you.  I will not lie, I was terrified.  I was so scared because you have Down syndrome.  I had done autism, hell I did that twice but for some reason Down syndrome scared me.  A lot of it was worries about your health and a lot of it was worries about the unknown.  Well I have learned more in the last year from you than I could ever have imagined!  Here are some of the things I have learned:

I will do anything (anything!) to hear your laugh.

Your brothers have so much love to give and you have them wrapped around your finger.

Your Dad is an amazing father (not that I didn’t know that already!).

The sun can be inside a person and sparkle out their eyes.

Your cuddles can cure even the worst day.

You are mighty and you are a fighter.

You know what you want and how to get it.

I hope I can be more like you when I grow up!

You will be able to keep up with your brothers.

Your smiles can change everything.

A diagnosis is just that and does not define the person.

Most of all you amaze me.  Everyday I look at you and a feel so lucky to be your Mom.  Thank you for picking me.  I only hope that I can do you justice.

Happy 1st Birthday baby!

I work from home now.  Well, I am not sure what you call what I do.

When Bug was born in 2003 I was walking that typical modern day Mom line.  I returned to work when he was 8 weeks old.  I worked for an aerospace company as a Program Manager and 60 hour weeks were the norm.  It was rough.  To the delight of my boss I pumped every two hours and raced to the day care center at lunch everyday to nurse.

When Peanut was born in 2006 I had the same job.  I got admitted to the hospital at 32 weeks and worked everyday from my hospital bed.  I had work delivered and picked up every day.  After Peanut was born I managed to stretch my leave to 4 months and then went back 3 days a week using vacation hours I had saved for years.  To my boss’s delight again I pumped.

When Peanut was 3 I knew things had to change.  So I bought an online business and decided to try to make it work.  I worked days in aerospace and nights on my store that sells eco-friendly products for babies and moms.  I LOVED it and am passionate about it.  In the spring of 2010 I could feel things changing at my day job and finally made the jump to WAHM in June 2010.  My online store was not enough so I did (an do) independent contract work for different companies.

In 2013 our family was completed with Froggie.  I was working while being prepped for my C-section. I took about 8 hours off.

Now I have 4 jobs.  My online business plus 3 other jobs.  I work all. the. time.  And I never work.  Yep, you read that right.  I am constantly working…or not. Maybe we could say that I work at trying to work.  I have 3 special needs kids so that means 3 sets of therapies. Some times more therapy than others.  A typical day starts with me taking Bug and Peanut to school.  I rush home and grab a bit to eat and try to move Froggie and my computer to my office where I will try to get an hour or two of work in before Froggie’s therapy. Sometimes this happens, and sometimes it doesn’t.  It depends on Froggie’s mood.  After therapy I rush out for appointments, errands and to pick up kids.  Then home and while we do homework I am trying to get some work done.  Every time my bum hits the chair a kid needs something or a kid hit someone :).  At the end of the day I realize that I spent more time running around doing errands and breaking up fights then I did working.

The end of my day usually ends up with me on the bed working while the kids sleep, hopefully.  Tomorrow it will start all over again.

Thank God! Yes, thank God.  I am so grateful for my messed up crazy life.  Somehow I manage to get enough work done to fool everyone and I get to be there to break up fights.  I get to nurse Froggie on demand.  I get to yell at Bug about his iPad. I get to have Peanut sit on my lap. When I think back to my Program Manager days and my 60 hour weeks I am so incredibly grateful that I am home.  Even if this doesn’t last much longer, I cherish the days that I get tell Peanut to GET OFF THE BABY for the 100th time.

Not to be cliché but before I know it there will be no more babies.  The house will be quiet because they will all be off doing their own things.  Then what will I do?

Bug, Peanut, Froggie and the cousin!

When I got my pre-natal diagnosis I was very lucky. Peanut goes to a very special school and I was quickly able to connect with moms who have a child with Down syndrome.

These moms let me know it would be ok. They let me know what to expect. They told me and showed me how wonderful, strong, amazing and smart their kids are.  I had a community, a place to belong and feel safe. I was very lucky.

I can’t imagine going through those days after the diagnosis alone. But this happens all the time to expecting moms. That is one of the reasons for the high abortion rate for babies with Down syndrome. I have seen figures between 85% and 95% abortion rate. It is high, too high. What if those moms and dads had a buddy to help them through this? Someone who has been there, who is there now!  Who can tell them the facts?  Some doctors tell their patients lots of horrible scary things about Down syndrome and none of the wonderful things.

I hope I am lucky enough to connect with pregnant moms in this position. I want to tell them it will be ok. I want them to know that while this is not the path they planned on taking it will be a beautiful, wonderful path. Yes, there will be tears. Yes, your child is not what you were expecting but she will be more than you ever expected.

Froggie is such an amazing wonderful gift.  This Thanksgiving this is what I was thinking about the most.